Importance of Forgiveness and How to Forgive? Why Everyone Needs Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a very commonly used word in our daily lives but what does it mean. Does it mean a favor to the person who was unkind to you? Or does it mean to have an extremely optimistic attitude towards life? What is the importance of forgiveness that everyone talks about? The article aims to answer these questions.

Forgiveness is a process that involves the conscious decision of letting go of the hateful feelings, or resentment that people hold towards those who have harmed them. It is the opposite of taking revenge on those people. It is a process because it requires efforts and processing of one’s emotions before one can forgive their offenders. Therefore, it is not easy to forgive one’s wrongdoers.

Many times people mistake forgiveness for other shallow ideas. So, to completely understand forgiveness, it is important to note what forgiveness is not.

• It does not mean to deny the seriousness of a situation or offense a person has committed against you. Instead, it refers to the processing of the situation or emotions from the victim’s point of view.
• It does not mean glorifying an offense or justify the actions of an offender. It means to make the offender accountable and forgive him later only if the victim wants it by heart.
• It does not mean that things will go back to exactly the way they were. For example, that the broken relationship will mend and go back to its original shape. It means that a person forgives and moves on in life.
• It does not mean to free the offender from legal accountability. The legality of the situation has nothing to do with forgiveness in most cases. Legal accountability is important for the social correction of society.

As we have established the definition of forgiveness, let’s discuss the importance of forgiveness and what important role does it play in our lives.

Importance of Forgiveness

It is often said that forgiving others is a blessing and can help oneself in life. So, let’s see the benefits of forgiveness and how is it important.

Source of one’s Happiness

It may seem that by forgiving we are doing the other person a favor. Nevertheless, it is often not the case. Sometimes people hold onto painful memories to keeping the offender. It is one of the defense mechanisms in psychology where people want to feel the hurt and pain to justify their hatred towards someone. There is no question that importance of forgiveness leads towards happiness. But it does not mean that the offense was only perceived by the victim. The offense is real but holding onto it to find a reason to hate others is self-destruction. It eats away the happy moments in life. If we forgive others and stop bothering ourselves with negative emotions caused by others, we can become happy in life.

Free from the Past

When we are indulging ourselves in hating someone for their wrongdoings, we let our minds to be prisoners of the past. Past is not a good time to live in. It takes a toll on our mental healths. To be able to live freely in the present moment, it is necessary to forgive and keep our minds out of the past’s sufferings.

Makes One a Bigger Person

It is a well-known reality that the person who forgives is always at the giving end and thus becomes the bigger person. By forgiveness, a person feels strong and in control of feelings. This sense of control relieves a huge amount of stress from our minds and let us be the bigger person.

Provides an Opportunity to the Offender

In life, everyone waits for opportunities to undo their mistakes and this originates only through the realization of importance of forgivness. However, forgiveness is a chance for the offenders to ponder over their mistakes and make amends. This does not mean that after forgiveness the offenders return to their old habits and repeat the same mistakes. It means that the person has truly decided to amend the mistakes and would not repeat the mistake twice. Contrary to this, repeating mistakes means that the person is not willing to amend. Forgiveness followed by correctional behavior is very important for the success of society. It reduces criminals and thus crimes.

Seeing the bigger Picture

A healthy mind accepts the fact that the world is not black and white. There is no absolute right and wrong which means there are a lot of grey areas. To simply put, people are not entirely good or bad, they make mistakes or have some bad habits. One bad habit does not describe their whole personality. When people forgive and see the change in attitude or a positive behavior from the offender, they realize that there are no good or bad people but good or bad deeds. It reduces the judgment humans often form for others. Forgiveness helps to see the bigger picture in life and not a mere speck of reality based on one perspective.

Revenge is Self-destructive

“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves” – Confucius.

Revenge is a negative emotion that results in self-destruction along with the destruction of the enemy. Revenge stops self-growth and shifts the entire focus to get back to the enemy. It reinforces the anger and negative feelings that a person has towards others and magnifies it tenfolds. It gives more room for pessimistic ideas, feelings, and thoughts. All of these negative feelings one day lead to self-hatred, disappointment, and self-destruction. Instead of taking revenge, a person can focus on oneself and improve one’s life. As it is said that the biggest revenge a person can take from their enemy is to be happy and successful in one’s life. Therefore, the importance of forgiveness is helpful in one’s personal growth.

Everyone Needs Forgiveness

It is enough to note the importance of forgiveness and human nature that everyone needs forgiveness at some point in their lives. Humans can never be all pious. We all make mistakes and we need forgiveness for that. If someday we are forgiving others for their wrongdoings towards us, then one day others will also be kind and forgiving towards us. This is how the world works. Everything comes back to us one day. Therefore, humans need to keep in mind the human factor of everyone, be kind and empathetic towards each other. The process of forgiveness helps humans to empathize with the situations of others and make peace with their own feelings.

How to Forgive?

There is no denying the importance of forgiveness. However, there is still a question left that how can one best forgive others? As mentioned before, it is a process and not an abrupt decision that can be done overnight. It requires a lot of effort.

• Do not rush yourself.
• Make sure to process your feelings and thoughts after facing an issue.
• Let the mind and heart grieve or be angry for some time. Repressing your true feelings can do more harm.
• Ask questions from oneself regarding the approach you want to adopt towards the offender.
• Have open communication with the offender and talk about what behavior of theirs hurt you.
• Set boundaries for the future so that the person cannot do the same to you twice. Because forgiveness is not about letting others run over you.
• Once you have protected yourself, tell them that you have forgiven them and they no longer are the reason for stress in your life.
• Enjoy your life.

Conclusion

Forgiveness is a word that is thrown around in conversations easily but difficult to do so. However, if one realizes the importance of forgiveness, one will choose to forgive over taking revenge and rearing negativity in oneself. Forgiveness is not about the offenders but freeing oneself from the prison of negativity, revenge, stress, and trauma of the past. it benefits one’s mental hence physical health.

“Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself” – Suzanne Somers